The Shapeshifters of Bullshitistan - 2

The Banner and The Banner

I. Unreal Banners

In the first episode of The Shapeshifters of Bullshitistan I focused on two members, The Don and The ConWay.

Today, I will focus on two more members "The Banner" and "The Banner" ... see photo).

Both have "Steve" as their first names, because they know "Lucifer" has already been given to The Cruz by His Orangeness the First (On The Origin of Specious).

Steve Banner and Steve Banner both transferred in from The Inhofe's Trufiness Headquarters (Agnotology: The Surge - 16) after helping The Palin with her campaign endeavors (Book Politics Makes Strange Duplicities).

The Vainstream Media is all aflutter about who will survive to become Supreme Banner, which will be determined by the difficult-to-live-through venerable Jabber The Whut Pecking Order Reality Games (On The Origin of Assholes).

The games will be judged by the current Supreme Banner who has reigned so long that everyone forgets exactly when, in 1928, it happened (The Ways of Bernays).

The Supreme Banner

Meanwhile, several social scientists are wondering if pollution has anything to do with the struggle (The Messy Link Between Air Pollution & Alzheimer’s Disease).

Anyway, the first leg of the pecking order games is to make a declarative statement that will be praised by The Don, but soundly rejected by those outside of Bullshitistan.

The Banner and The Banner have offered entries that will make the decision for their replacement very tough on The Supreme Banner (who is not a so-called judge).

First up, The Banner:

Senior White House Policy Advisor [Steve Banner] raised plenty of eyebrows on Sunday as the perused the talk-show circuit talking about cases of voter fraud (that don’t exist) and [his opponent The Banner's] lack of involvement in drafting executive orders (which, according to most reports, is the exact opposite of the truth).

But perhaps his most alarming statement was in reference to the federal judges in Washington rejecting [The Don's] Muslim ban.

“I think that it’s been an important reminder to all Americans that we have a judiciary that has taken far too much power and become in many cases a supreme branch of government,” [The Banner] told John Dickerson of CBS News, as first noted by Will Saletan of Slate. “The end result of this, though, is that our opponents, the media, and the whole world will soon see, as we begin to take further actions, that the powers of [The Don] to protect our country are very substantial and will not be questioned.”

[The Don] was, unsurprisingly, watching his performance, and gave the 31-year-old rave reviews.

(Apologies to Think Progress, emphasis added). The lackeys of The Banner were all aglow, thinking that there was no way for his opponent, The Banner, to overcome such an Alt Facts presentation.

Little did they know, however, that next up in the initial submission phase was The Banner with the ability to tell whoppers of the silver-tongued-devil degree (just like The ConWay):

[The Banner], who’s now ensconced in the West Wing as [The Don's] closest adviser, has been portrayed as [The Don's] main ideas guy. But in interviews, speeches and writing — and especially in his embrace of Strauss and Howe — he has made clear that he is, first and foremost, an apocalypticist.

In [The Banner's] view, we are in the midst of an existential war, and everything is a part of that conflict. Treaties must be torn up, enemies named, culture changed. Global conflagration, should it occur, would only prove the theory correct. For [The Banner], the Fourth Turning has arrived. The Grey Champion, a messianic strongman figure, may have already emerged. The apocalypse is now.

“What we are witnessing,” [The Banner] told The Washington Post last month, “is the birth of a new political order.” [pronounced political odor]

(The Apocalypse Is Coming And War Is Inevitable, emphasis added). The Banner even dyed his hair grey in order to emphasize his channeling of The Grey Champion (rumors are that he counseled The Don not to dye his hair grey).

II. The Banner Trance

These kinds of trances bring on dark ages, because they become self-fulfilling prophecies.

For example, civilization's addiction to oil is the result of that same Apocalypse trance:

"From the moment he arrived at the Admiralty, a young man of destiny, Churchill started to prepare the fleet for the Battle of Armageddon he believed was inevitable.
...
Then, in 1911, the German Kaiser provoked the Agadir crisis ... Churchill went to the Admiralty and his outlook transformed. He was immediately confronted with the decisive question: to convert the navy from coal to oil ... the "fateful plunge" was made ... in April 1912 ... five oil-burning battleships were approved.
...
Britain was well supplied with coal [but not oil]. It was the Royal Navy which was the impetus for the development of the oil industry in Britain. The problem was supply and the security of that supply. Initially, the British government purchased shares in the Anglo-Persian Oil Company, subsequently, British Petroleum [BP].
...
Then, to prevent further disruptions, Britain enmeshed itself ever more deeply in the Middle East, working to install new shahs in Iran and carve Iraq out of the collapsing Ottoman Empire.

Churchill fired the starting gun, but all of the Western powers joined the race to control Middle Eastern oil."

(The Universal Smedley - 2). The only advice I can offer in these situations is quite limited.

III. Conclusion

That advice is (Choose Your Trances Carefully, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8).

The next post in this series is here, the previous post in this series is here.

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Yep. Desolation Row ...

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