Strict Constructionists Of Texas Wig Out

This blog may owe an apology for indicating that the law under which a professor was arrested in his own home was "The Stupidest Law In The Nation".

Well there is a new stupid kid on the block, the Texas Politicians, who have outlawed marriage accidentally.

At least according to the woman running for Texas Attorney General:

Texans: Are you really married?

Maybe not.

Barbara Ann Radnofsky, a Houston lawyer and Democratic candidate for attorney general, says that a 22-word clause in a 2005 constitutional amendment designed to ban gay marriages erroneously endangers the legal status of all marriages in the state.

The amendment, approved by the Texas Legislature and overwhelmingly ratified by Texas voters, declares that "marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman." But the trouble-making phrase, as Radnofsky sees it, is Subsection B, which declares:

"This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

(Star Telegram, emphasis added). Everyone has heard about the world renowned strict constructionists of Texas who vehemently complain about judges who do not read the law as it is written, eschewing any excuses for deviating from exactly what it says.

Can you imagine the pretzel contortions they will be doing when they try to explain why strict construction ideology does not apply to their lack of command of American English?

A famous lawman from Texas, not Judge Roy L. Bean, famously said "Childrens do learn", but that does not cover strict constructionists west of the Pecos evidently.

Holy Wars Have Holes In Them

When the High Priest In Chief living in the Great White Mosque of Oilah Akbar wrote a letter to the President of France, explaining his reason for invading Iraq, the High Priest quoted his Bible, saying:

7. And when the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison,

8. And shall go out to deceive the nations which are in the four quarters of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them together to battle: the number of whom is as the sand of the sea.

9. And they went up on the breadth of the earth, and compassed the camp of the saints about, and the beloved city: and fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them.

(Dogma of High Priest In Chief). When the holy warriors invaded a weak nation that had lots of oil, after invading a nation that now supplies the heroin to the world, they offered bounty to anyone who would finger a terrorist.

Many criminals in those nations fingered totally honest and good men and women who were then turned over to sadistic devils for rape and torture:

Rasul v. Rumsfeld, as I’ve explained before, is one of the first lawsuits brought by victims of the Bush administration’s torture and abuse policies. The plaintiffs claim they were in Afghanistan to do humanitarian relief work when they were captured by the Northern Alliance and turned over (or sold for bounty) to U.S. authorities. They were eventually shipped to Guantanamo Bay, where they were imprisoned in cages and, they claim, tortured and humiliated, forced to shave their beards and watch their Korans desecrated. All of these claims are backed up by the legal memos that have since been produced from the Department of Justice that authorized such techniques as part of “enhanced” interrogations. The men were returned home to the UK without charge in 2004.

(Washington Independent). Meanwhile some of those sadistic devils have become appellate judges or have burrowed deep into the Department of Just Us.

So Easy Cavemen Could Do State Dinner

The backdrop of the controversy about whether cave men terrorists are a big threat to us may have been bolstered at the state dinner, the biggest White House dinner event so far this year.

A guy named Tareq Salahi was not invited to the White House dinner, yet he got through all that super-dooper Homeland Security wall of security (the one Senator Ted Kennedy had a hard time getting through sometimes), to rub elbows while the presidents of two countries were there:

The Secret Service is investigating how a couple aspiring to be reality-show celebrities managed to appear at President Obama’s first state dinner without being on the guest list, provoking questions about security at the White House.

...

The Secret Service said its inquiry was focusing on one checkpoint.

...

The inquiry was begun after a Virginia couple, Michaele and Tareq Salahi, slipped past multiple layers of high-level White House security Tuesday night and managed to rub shoulders, literally, with Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. and the White House chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, among others, at Washington’s most exclusive social event this year.

(New York Times). This underlines the same type of thing which happened a while back:

It only took 27 seconds for him to smuggle live bomb components through security detail in a federal building. Later, he assembled a bomb in the restroom, and then walked around the facility undetected.

...

Investigators from the the Government Accountability Office, Congress' investigative arm, were able to penetrate all 10 of the undisclosed federal buildings it tested across the United States.

(Get Back Jo Jo). These stories get attention for awhile, then fade as deficit budgets are forged during lobbyist feeding frenzies once again.

But the bottom line question may be: "are cavemen really that good, or is security purposefully lax at times?"

Book Politics Makes Strange Duplicities

There is a story out that Sarah Palin met a look-alike (not Tina Fey) during her book tour.

It was purported to have happened near a town in the Appalachians, where two fans were waiting in line to purchase a copy of her book.

Is there a possibility that the Sarah Palin twin and Sarah Palin also have similar looking twin fans?

She asked the two fans, pictured below, why they were only buying one copy of the book.

They told her they could not read but had heard a lot of good things about her.

The two fans of Palin are "clean coal" lobby activists who were also seeking to find out if Palin's "spill baby spill" environmental policy would be compatible with their "flatten baby flatten" mountain top coal mining policy.

It is not clear whether or not the story is just a rumor, but evidently the two fans of Palin are also birther / tea baggers who were asking Palin if she would read her book to them, since they are such avid supporters of her presidency.

They were startled when the "other Palin" came into the store, surmised that either there were now two Palins or their moonshine still had become contaminated, so being extremely superstitious they both ran from the store yelling something mavericky, while heading straight to the local church.

At the church they swore off moonshine and were saved, then hit the rogue campaign trail looking for Joe / Joe the Plumber who wants Sarah's look alike to run as Vice Sarah.